Issues with an 8th grade spiky kid
by Hank-o-holic
Summary: Part of my 3 part story. Bart tries to find the girl of his dreams, only, its not going to be easy.


Issues with an 8th grade spike kid

Year: 2011

Chapter 1: Mall drama

"Come on Bart, this is ridiculous." Said Lisa Simpson, rolling her eyes.

It was Wednesday, July 4th, almost independence day. Bart and Lisa were at the mall.

"Look Lisa, I have to get one someday, and today's the day." Explained Bart.

He was looking for a _new _girlfriend, and it wasn't going good.

"Okay fine, but just because I'm smart, remember smart."

"Yeah, yeah, smart, so was I, at one point."

"Just come on."

So Lisa took Bart inside, there were lots of people, and lots of girls.

"_Perfect_." Bart thought, "_Now I have a selection_."

"So see anyone you like?" Lisa asked.

Bart looked around and saw many girls that he thought were good for him.

"Well, let's find out."

10 seconds later…

_**Slap! **_"You idiot, don't talk to me again!" One of the girls yelled.

"Okay that didn't work… ouch!" Bart squeaked. "I'll just try another."

…

_**Slap!**_

…

_**Slap!**_

After 30 tries…

_**Slap!**_

"Well Bart, that's all of them, let's just go home, and get that red cheek some ice." Lisa offered.

"Uhhh, make it so!"

Chapter 2: Bart gets help

Bart was in his bed, stressed and with ice on his left cheek. It was noon, and he still didn't have a girlfriend.

"_Man I hate my life; Frink was right when he said I would meet true love 1 minute before I die." _Bart thought in agony.

Just then Homer walked by.

"Hey boy, how are you?" He said with happiness in his voice.

"Terrible, I could never get a girlfriend, ever. So just leave me alone."

Homer frowned. "Well boy, why don't I help, I met Marge and hey look how I turned out!"

Bart turned to face Homer and gave a glare. "_Oh yeah," _He thought. "_You turned out to be a big fat, drunk, hairless, b…."_

"Tell you what, why don't I help?" Homer suggested.

"Well okay, I could use some help." Bart said.

"Then it's settled, Bart, come with me to Moe's, and I'll give you the low down."

Homer walked with Bart to the bar, and they had a talk.

As they walked in, Homer summed it up.

"So you're looking for the perfect girl, but can't seem to get one because everybody thinks you're a dork."

"Well… yeah pretty much."

As they sat down, Moe walked over.

"Hey Homer, Bart what seems to be the matter?" Moe asked.

"Oh he's sad, cause he can't get a girlfriend." Homer explained.

"Well Bart, you've come to the right place, we have all the answers." Moe assured.

"Really, cause I need help fast." Bart said.

Just then Barney ran up to them.

"Hey Bart!" Barney called, "I just over heard your conversation, and you remember how my girl thinks I'm not cool?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So, I bought this book on how to impress ladies, and I thought it might help you, and me."

Homer popped his memory.

"Hey, this gives me an idea! Bart, you're going to get help from the top down."

"Okay, cool." Bart said "This should be good."

Chapter 3: Problems and Solutions

Bart, Homer, Moe, and Barney stroll through the city. Moe knew a place Bart can go where he could get the info he needed.

To Bart's surprise it wasn't what he expected. "The gift shop?"

"Yep, this is where I go for all my problems." Moe explained.

"Uh, are you…"

"Come on Bart," Homer said, "trust us, we know everything."

"Okay fine."

So they went in. It was a awfully big place. There were shirts, hats, plates, cups, and basically anything you can imagine.

Running the register was a man with an eye patch.

'Well, Moe, what will it be this time?" he said.

"Oh it's not me; this boy needs help getting a girlfriend." Moe explained.

"Oh okay, well boy, you came to the right place, what you need is some style."

"Style?"

"_Style!"_

Bart was confused, "Okay?"

"Come with us into the back room."

"Well, whoa!"

Bart was pulled into the back room.

3 minutes later…

"Okay everybody, he's ready!"

Bart came out, with a totally different wardrobe. He had sunglasses, a shirt with checkered patterns, shorts, and high shoes.

"Um this stuff is a little tight."

"That's okay boy." Homer said "You just have to get used to it. That's all."

Barney walked up, "Now let's try it out."

They pushed Bart out of the store and he walked down the street.

As he crossed he saw a girl, one that he liked.

"_This better work." _Bart thought.

So he ran up to her.

"Um hi, I'm Bart; uh… you're... uh, beautiful."

She looked at his clothes and said, "Uh, nice clothes dude, where'd you get them the _gift shop?" _She laughed and pointed at him. "Hey everyone, look a hippie came back from the 70's!"

Everybody laughed at Bart, and he ran back to the store.

'Well Bart how was it?" Homer asked.

Bart was now very aggravated.

"How was it? HOW WAS IT! Why the heck would you ask that? I was laughed at!"

"Well I thought,"

"No, no you didn't, you lied to me dad! I HATE YOU!"

Bart ran away from them. Homer was left speechless.

"I just wanted to help." 

Chapter 4: It's a happy ending after all

It was 9:00 and the fireworks of the 4th of July were out and about.

Bart was sitting under a tree, he was crying. Something he would never do unless it was serious.

"Maybe it was never meant to be?" Bart asked himself.

Just then the girl who laughed at Bart walked up to him.

"Um hi, are you okay?" She asked.

Bart looked at her and recognized her. "I know you, go away!"

"Look I'm sorry I laughed at you, I just didn't know who you were."

"Well you were… wait, you didn't know me?"

"Yeah, your Bart _Simpson _right, oh I loved your story, _my life as a poisonous snake. _It was really good."

"Uh, thanks."

"Um, do you want to go out with me?"

Bart was shocked, but hid it because he didn't want to ruin this opportunity.

"Sure, you know you're really nice."

"You too."

So Bart finally got the girl of his dreams, and on Independence Day, it couldn't be greater.

The end

_How was that story, I had to finish it on the 4__th__ of July, cause of the theme. Let me know how it was. HOH _


End file.
